How does that sentence end? Is it always an unfinished sentence aimed at pointing the finger at someone without having to actually verbalise the accusation?

I guess a shoe seller would finish it – buy it!

Of course for Cinderella the shoe fitting was good news. If the shoe fits…you must be the girl for me…..The accusation/judgement came when the shoe didn’t fit. The shoe was the set measurement, and the feet had to comply.

When something is accused of being a bad fit – what sort of solutions are available to us? When buying a pair of shoes it is the shoe that needs to be changed, not the foot – whatever Grimms fairytales might offer up as a gruesome solution. Otherwise blisters, pinching and ultimately a waste of money will ensue.

But what if the notes that an orchestra are playing don’t fit with the score? Is the conductor and his sheet music to be ousted as a bad fit – or does the challenge need to lie elsewhere?

Let me tell you a story about a village orchestra. This orchestra had been going for generations. Rejecting sheet music, they merely played the tunes they liked by ear until they sounded right. Their instruments were in tune with each other and everyone was happy. One generation passed the tunes on to the next and so it went on.

The problems all started when someone new moved into the village. He loved the songs listed in the orchestra’s repertoire and was eager to join in. Although he played several instruments his passion was conducting. He loved to equip and draw out each individual player to do their best, to play their part, enabling them together to produce the beautiful music so skillfully composed all those years ago. He had been part of quite a few orchestras in his time and had read of and heard about far more from all around the world. What never failed to delight him was that whatever the size or skill or location of the orchestra, no matter how rich or poor the players were, no matter how plain or fancy their instruments were – the music he loved could be announced by those people in that place to their pleasure and to the pleasure of those around them.

Things started out OK. The orchestra had needed a conductor and this one seemed keen. It soon became clear, however, that he just didn’t know the tunes. When he demonstrated a section of the music – it sounded all wrong. His demands in terms of timing and expression were preposterous. They might be OK where he came from, but it wasn’t how things were done here.

They were patient however, he was new and they believed, or at least hoped, that in time he would learn. As long as they stuck to the tunes they knew and loved and played so well they would be OK. He would either change his tune, or give up and go elsewhere. They met without him to practise things the right way. When the audience questioned the new conductor they would nod understandingly and reassure their listeners that they were quite right to be distressed and that they were doing their best to keep a normal service going.

As the years passed, however, people stopped coming to hear them. Although a few people did seem to enjoy the music the conductor was introducing, the overall trend was down. Some of the players left – either to hang up their instruments for good, or to play elsewhere. What would happen when their concert hall needed repairs? They had lost much of the good feeling that they had previously enjoyed in the village and money was short – despite the support that came in from outside the musical world due to the historical and architectural significance of their venue. Pressure was put on the conductor to leave – no hard feelings – it just wasn’t a good fit. Letters were written and meetings organised to make their feelings clear. Some of the powers that be joined in. If he wasn’t going to change his tune maybe it was just better for all concerned that he took it elsewhere.

That there is a mis-fit in this situation is obvious. The distress and tension and heartache are very real.

The music that the conductor cherishes and trusts says one thing and the traditional tunes of the village say another. Of course the conductor knows he still has much to learn about the music, there are sections he wants to understand better etc – but it is the composer’s notes on the page that are his point of reference and he is confident that he is trying to play and help others to play what the composer intended. How heartbreaking for him to find so many who hold the composer in so little regard.

But we feel for the orchestra as well. They loved their music, and the role it played in the village. Of course they wanted more to come and listen to them, more to come and play with them, but they knew times and fashions were changing. They still believed in their music and found great pleasure in it and so they concluded that it still had an important role to play in the village.

So how to resolve this mis-fit. Do the notes played by the orchestra need to change to fit with the score the conductor is trying to introduce them to – or should the conductor follow their lead, and change his tune?

How confident is the conductor that his job is to preserve the integrity of the original score? How important to him is it that the tune played in the composer’s name in this little village is the tune he has before him in the sheets of notes and musical directions?

Because at the moment the conductor is being treated like an ill-fitting pair of shoes. A rash purchase to be regretted and a cause of great discomfort for all concerned. For many the time has come to give up on the blister plasters, to stop using this insole, or that pair of thick socks to minimise the discomfort and to simply send the shoes off with good wishes that they find a better fit elsewhere.

And if it is just a case of a bad fit – not fault of the shoe or the foot – then that would be entirely sensible and much less painful than the current situation.

But what if the orchestra is nothing more than an ugly sister?

What if (and I realise I am mixing my metaphors terribly here) the conductor is the bearer of the glass slipper on a mission for the Prince in search of his bride. In the glass slipper he holds the authoritative measurement of a person’s claim to belong to the Prince. If the shoe doesn’t fit…than it is the foot that needs to change – not the shoe.

What if our shoe-bearer has been told to leave no stone unturned. What if some of the rightful wearers of this shoe (for countless multitudes will be the bride of this Prince) are lost in this very village? What if they are relying on him to stick it out, protecting the glass slipper at all costs, until they are given the chance to slip it on their feet and be claimed by their Prince?

Pray for God’s conductors/shoe-bearers in this country. They are not perfect, but their message is – pray for their protection and perseverance as they are treated like an increasingly despised ill-fitting pair of shoes.

A great prayer to pray before reading and teaching God’s word – this time by John Calvin.

Oh Lord, heavenly Father, in whom is the fulness of light and wisdom, enlighten our minds by thy Holy Spirit, and give us grace to receive thy word with reverence and humility, without which no man can understand thy truth, for Christ’s sake. Amen.

“With reverence and humility” – finding this ‘advent corner*’ today strikes a particular note with me as I am grieving over so many people who are influential within the visible church, but who do not wish to allow God’s word any authority in the priorities, preaching, and practicalities of church life.

I admit that my sadness is not purely without selfishness and pride. I need to remove the plank in my own eye – to pray for help in this area in my life, to model this humility and reverence to my children. I also need to recognise where I am merely frustrated and hurt by the resulting opposition to the NTV that arises from this attitude in others.

BUT I am also grieved for the sake of those who refuse to allow God’s word to operate in their lives. For those who are satisfied with their personal idea of god and of his church. I am upset for the many people in our country who are being shortchanged (or worse) because others have taken it upon themselves to define what church is – rather than approach God’s word with reverence and humility – longing to be taught and shaped by him. I am grieved at the dishonour this brings to God’s name.

Oh Lord, so much of the visible church in this nation does not approach your word with reverence and humility. We come with pride because we are ‘well taught’ and know what it means, or we come ready to pick and choose the bits that fit. Please humble your people, please revive an obedience to your word amongst your churches in this country. Please help me to grow ever more humble and reverent and please help me to know when to oppose and challenge, and when to just keep plodding on. Thank you that Jesus is always enough – I don’t need people to approve of our ministry, I don’t need to see certain results, it is OK to make mistakes, it is OK to fail – Jesus is always enough. May my contentment in Him banish the frustration and disappointment I feel. May I be always passionate for your glorious cause, while remaining content in you – and so press on without giving in to despair or battle-weariness. You will build your church and the gates of hell will not prevail! I praise you, victorious, merciful Lord. May your name be hallowed, your Kingdom come and your will be done. Amen.

* See previous post: And Another…11th Jan 2017

The NTV and I read through The One True Story by Tim Chester over advent and turned down the pages* of some of the particularly striking bits. The first turned down corner led me to the prayer I have just shared with you by Catherine Parr – and so has the second!

Grant that I may ever desire and will that which is most pleasant and acceptable to thee. Thy will be my will, and my will be to follow alway thy will. Let there be alway in me one will, and one desire with thee; and that I have no desire to will or not to will, but as thou wilt. Lord, thou knowest what thing is most profitable and most expedient for me. Give, therefore, what thou wilt, as much as thou wilt, and when thou wilt. Do with me what thou wilt, as it shall please thee, and shall be most to thine honour. Put me where thou wilt, and freely do with me in all things after thy will. Thy creature I am, and in thy hands, lead and turn me where thou wilt. Lo, I am they servant, ready to do all things that thou commandest; for I desire not to live to myself, but to thee. Amen.

*Sorry to those of you who wince at such treatment of books

 

Lord Jesus, I pray thee grant me grace, that I may never set my heart on the things of this world, but that all worldly and carnal affection may utterly die and be mortified in me. Grant me above all things that I may rest in thee, and finally quiet and pacify my heart in thee. For thou Lord, art the very true peace of heart and the perfect rest of the soul, and without thee all things are grevious and unquiet.

Wherefore, Lord Jesus, I pray thee, give me grace to rest in thee above all things, and to quiet me in thee above all creatures; above all glory and honour, above all dignity and power, above all the riches and treasure, above all joy and pleasure, above all fame and praise, above all mirth and consolation that man’s heart may take or feel besides thee.

For thou, Lord God, art best, most wise, most high, most mighty, most sufficiant, and most full of all goodness, most sweet, and most comfortable, most fair, most loving, most noble, most glorious; in whom all goodness most perfectly is. And therefore, whatsoever I have besides thee, it is nothing to me; for my heart may not rest nor fully be pacified but only in thee.

A prayer of Catherine Parr, King Henry V111’s sixth wife

Thank you dear Lord, for placing this lady who loved you in a position where she could teach of you to so many. Thank you that despite the pressures she served you so faithfully there and continues to be a blessing to your people. Please may I be fruitful in the position you have placed me, and may this prayer become my prayer. Amen.

PS: And thank you Lord, that my husband is much more lovely than hers!!!!

I thought had got them all – but no, I spied one today that had previously escaped my notice. The Christmas card that got away!

The majority of our cards get pegged on a string in the sitting room, but when that fills up..

What a wonderful problem to have!

… they get put on bookshelves or stuck onto the kitchen cabinets. It is these ‘un-pegged’ cards that tend to battle it out to see which one can remain unnoticed for the longest. Unless I am mistaken the one I spotted today really is the last one, but one year we found one tucked in between some books in May!

How do you feel now all the decorations are down? (Or indeed if they are they still up!)

Often I find things a bit bare and flat, but this year I am revelling in the return to the less cluttered feel that the 6th January brings with it. (That is if you don’t count the spare room where I have put all the decorations until I can sort them out!)

But in the midst of enjoying a Christmas-free house – except that one card in the kitchen that I have yet to remove! – my heart is far from Christmas-free. Like an earworm stuck in my head, it has really wriggled its way into my heart this year. I know that sounds like a line from a bad Christmas movie – but it’s true.

In God’s grace and kindness I have been amazed anew this year with the wonder of having something real and substantial and worthwhile and beautiful and lasting to celebrate.

What a paradox there is in the festivities that surround us over the Christmas season. Everything (well almost everything) gets so FULL – the strings that hold our cards, our diaries, our fridges, the sacks or stockings or the space under our trees that we fill with presents, the shops and the restaurants, the roads and credit card bills.

At the same time as all of this however, and even more so into the New Year, there is an element of emptiness – and I’m not just talking about our bank accounts. It is as though no matter how much we put into a ‘Jesus-free Christmas’ it never really fills up. Like a colander! After all – CHRISTMAS – means a party/celebration of Christ. Take that away and you just have a party.

Celebration works best when it is celebrating something real and means something to us. Think for example of the difference between the ‘celebrations’ that go with Halloween and the celebrations bursting from a football stadium following the unexpected victory of the local team.

The former,  at least for the majority of people, is basically a celebration that has been sold to us  – it is suggested that we celebrate, we like to celebrate and so we do. The latter is an uncontrolable reaction to something happening that has been longed for and cried over and will now be talked about again and again by a community of people who share the same passion.

We have the same phenomenon with celebrities don’t we. In the past 10 years or so – or possibly more? – people have taken to becoming famous for being famous. Reality TV shows have bred them by the dozens and now maintain their status with programmes like I’m a Celebrity. We like to have people who we can celebrate, we are presented with them and we lap it up. In contrast, there are others who we can’t help but celebrate – for their generosity, their compassion, their brilliance and achievements, the pleasure they give us through their creativity…..

In the Christmas story we see a lot of spontaneous, ‘bursting out of the stadium’ celebrations. John leaps in Elizabeth’s womb, the shepherds run around telling people, the wise men fall to their knees, the angels sing, Anna and Simeon rejoice….and if the baby that caused all of this celebration has been at the heart of our Christmas we too will remain full in Him despite the empty boxes and card-less walls we have been left with.

As a Christian I will never experience life without celebration. I won’t always feel it – in fact as I type this I am in the fog of a depression – but the victory and the gift and the relationship is always there. Not just until next season, or while the infatuation lasts, or until the toy breaks or the pieces go missing – but everyday without fail – until THE DAY when it will just get better!

Don’t get me wrong – I am not a Scrooge saying BAH HUM BUG to all the festivities and heaving a sigh of relief that it is all over. I actually happen to quite like the pretty lights and the candles and the songs and the beautifully wrapped presents. I love seeing my family and friends and watching predictable festive movies. In fact I think I can enjoy them all the more because I am not expecting them to be more than they are. They are not our saviour, our rescuing King, our CHRIST. They are just some of the MAS that our culture suggests to us.

We don’t have Christmas crackers in our house as the Court Jester is afraid of loud bangs, but I think they sum things up. While you do get the odd amazingly useful gift in a cracker, they are basically noise and colour and exictement in a prettily wrapped parcel. When they are done you are left with a lot of rubbish to sweep into the bin – and the one or two people who keep their hats on all day! The investment is in the moment. It does what it does – but what will you look to to give you something more?

Dear Father God, thank you that because of your grace and mercy and love Christmas is so much more than noise and wrapping. Thank you so much for the love of family, and the interesting and fun gifts I have received. Thank you for the rest from routine that the festive season gave me. These are good gifts from you and our pleasure in them is part of our being in your image. Thank you so so much more for the delight you have given me in the substantial-ness of celebrating Jesus. You are all I need and I praise you. In Jesus’ precious and celebration worthy name I pray, Amen.

And so I think I might just leave that card up to remind myself and maybe promt conversation throughout 2017.

So hands up if you have either under-burned or over-burned your advent candle yet? We are slightly behind, but it seems to burn for about the right amount of time.

Chaos seems to be an advent theme in our house.

For one thing there’s a whole lot of extra stuff in the house: teddies wearing Santa hats have taken possession of one of the chairs in the sitting room; there is an ever-increasing display of books from ‘Santa’s Lost his Pants’ to ‘The Little Matchgirl’ in the corner and a wobbly pile of festive films has taken up residence by the telly.

Not only is my house full of extra stuff, but my head is full of extra TO DO!

For example, on top of the usual extra jobs and events, we persevere our way through our Advent Line each year.

The details are on the Resources page, but basically it is a bible overview involving activities, crafts and teaching for each day in Advent.

I say persevere because I seem to be days behind on it more often than not – leaving me with the general impression of chasing my tail! You would think that having done it for 7 years I would be on top of things. But no! You see, although the bible doesn’t change, the children are always a year older, and the time on any given day varies, and another development comes to me, or a glaring hole in the overview that I spot every year and have yet to re-work once again makes itself apparent…….and so I am regularly printing stuff off, or cutting things out minutes before we are meant to be doing it – and that’s on a good day!

I don’t think the rest of the family mind the chaos – in fact I think they would call it excitement and fun! – but it definitely gets to me. I go into overwhelm and then I can’t see my way through. My ability to filter (never good at the best of times) disappears completely and my productivity, not to mention my pleasure in it, plummets.

Is that just the price I pay for wanting the traditions and the teaching? Given my temperament/wiring: is chaos and my reaction to it just inevitable?

The alternatives are:

Just be more organised next year and it will all be fine! Well yes, but let’s be honest, while there were specific factors this year that hijacked the opportunities in November to get all organised, I’m sure there will be new ones next year!

OR

Do less next year. Stop being over-ambitious.

Seriously? Don’t be ridiculous – I can’t do that, or more honestly maybe I don’t want to do that. I love our tradition of getting things out of the advent bag each day and gradually decorating the house and slowly bringing out our festive films and books. I also love getting all the festive (i.e. nothing to do with Jesus) out and enjoyed early on and then PUT AWAY in the week running up to Christmas, leaving us focussed on where we can really find our joy.

And the Advent Line – it is something we enjoy and for all its faults it is slowly piecing together some great truths and giving an eternal perspective to the advent season.

So my conclusion is to not mind muddling through. To take the cost that a bit of chaos involves for me personally – recognise the drain it causes and prayerfully manage it. To enjoy a good bit of organisation when it happens, but to accept that there will always be other ideas and plans waiting in the wings to fill any time available. And finally not to aim for perfection – a day not done, or not done well is not a problem for our mighty Lord. If I am looking to teach his word with affection and truth then he will honour that, and use it for his glory. If I don’t manage the amazing home-made gifts that I have planned and need to buy some chocolates instead – that’s OK. If what I hoped was my last trip to the shops turns out to be anything but… I can take a deep breath and prayerfully let go of the panic that floods over me at the slightest hint of failure, mess and mistake and proceed with joy and thankfulness that he is in control.

Dear Father, Lord over the chaos, mighty sovereign always at work behind and within the mistakes and the mess, help me to do what I can to love you this season, to do it extravagantly and cheerfully and please provide me with what I need each day to do so in godliness and gentleness, looking to the interests of others and trusting you to look after mine. Thank you for energising me in you as I pray in the precious name of Jesus who knows what it is to live in real chaos and mess, Amen.

So all our advent activities have started. Well are they Advent activities or countdown to Christmas activites?? In truth they are a bit of a jumble of both – and that is before you add in the snowmen and men in red suits!

A few of things we do:

Our meal time prayer during advent: Dear Father God, thank you for our food and that Jesus is coming again soon. Amen.

First thing in the morning: Candle lighting in a very dark room accompanied by Isaiah 9:2

Our rhyme for today:

The Lord made the world so he is King
The Lord made the world so he’s the boss of everything!

Followed by fun and games thanking God for making an increasingly long list of thnigs while throwing an inflatable globe around the room.

Verse of the day: Rev 4:11

And before you think this is all very BLOG MOMENT-ISH – let me tell you that there was arguing through most of it!

Thank you Lord for saving us from the darkness of sin, please help us to increasingly say “no” to it as it knocks so persistently at our doors!

As some of you will know I have ‘given up sugar’ – it has been about a year now and is well settled as the way that I eat. I’m not sure whether it has changed the way I experience taste – it is not as though the idea of chocolate turns my stomach! At the same time though I no longer miss cake or crave some Dairy Milk. What I have noticed is that I do sometimes hanker for the experience of them – the comfort or the occasion surrounding them.

I was dusting a gingerbread Christmas tree with icing sugar yesterday (a bit of a blog momment as my friend the doctor would say!) and some of the icing sugar made its way to my lips (it kind of creates its own atmosphere in the kitchen doesn’t it!) and it just tasted alien to me. On the other hand the flavours I pick up from savoury things that I eat have intensified as has the pleasure at the variety of texture etc.

So in a way my appetites for flavours have changed significantly over the past 12 months.

But what has this to do with being a ‘woman saved by grace’ (- as it says on the tin)?

I have been praying lately for a change of taste preference in my life and loves. When it comes to sin I don’t want to say “no” to sin as someone on a diet who might reluctantly turn down a second slice of cake or portion of pudding – but rather as someone saying “no” to an offer of poison! I am asking God that the misleading appeal of sin would fade and its true ugliness be revealed to me.

I wonder if I could develop a better habit of (all by grace!)..

1. Spotting the sin habit/pattern
2. Looking beyond the fact that it is not permissable – that it breaks the rules; to see its ugliness and the offense it is to Jesus, of how disguting it is given what Jesus has done for me.
3. Repenting of it – I recently read (and have probably mentioned before) the idea of soul vomit – a violent rejection of its place in our lives.
4. Putting it to death by pouring God’s truth all over it and leaving it no room to return by installing God’s truth in its place.

I might try and work through some examples in the future, but I am off to an advent lunch so

To be continued…and do comment if you get the chance. 

On a totally different note – I am considering getting a .blog domain name so that it is easier for people to find me – what do people think?

Before a purchase:

• Will it help me as I watch for Jesus’ return?
• Can I use it for his service?
• Is it something I will thank God for or will it just get lost in my possessions?
• Did the idea of getting it come from a need / a perceived gap or did it grab me?
• Would it take my eyes off of Jesus’ return?
• Am I expecting too much of it?
• Am I worried about its lack in my life?
• Am I chasing after it?
• Has getting it taken a high priority in my thoughts and plans?
• Am I seeking first God’s kingdom – or has this thing jumped into pole position?
• Is this item merely furnishing my kingdom and if so am I aware of how short term it is?

Dear Father God, the one who provides all our daily needs, please help me to lose my appetite for the shiny and the new and to be more hesitant and thoughtful in the face of the extra effort the world is making to draw me in to its culture of consumption. Thank you Father, Amen.

This is just the start of a thought on contentment….

Do we tend to think of contentment as the ability to be more stoical than the average person when faced with a problem of some sort? Is a contented person just someone with a higher pain/stress/worry threshold than those around him or her?

Is it not more that the contented person has their nerve endings in entirely different places? Perhaps the contented person is not ignoring the pain, grinning and bearing it with a stiff upper lip, but rather not actually feeling it in the same way.

Do the circumstances that would cripple most just fail to hit a nerve in the contented person in the same way?