So it’s been a while since my last post largely due to: an illness – not at all serious, but was rather lingering; half term (including my dear friend’s wedding) and last, but not least – a new member of our household. The latter is a certain 5 month old black and white kitten who shall be known as The Minister’s Cat (TMC) and who has proved a rather large distraction!
Hopefully ‘normal’ life is returning – but then what is that? I long for my ‘normal’ to rest in meditating on God’s word, praying with trust and with passion, and serving the Kingdom with diligence. I long for my normal to be a disciplined attitude to reading God’s word and praying – a discipline that increasingly develops from duty into delight. I long for my normal to see me rejoicing in the Lord and being contagious in that.
Instead I find that the above is the exception to the rule that I manage for a bit until – like a river that always finds the easiest course – I re-route myself into self indulgence and ease. The seed of discipline and determination seems to be either instantly plucked away or to just wither as the weeds of ill-discipline and idol worship choke it out.
Thank you my dear heavenly Father that grace is your normal. Thank you that you have begun a good work in me and you will carry it on until completion. Help me to neither give up and settle for false rest, nor fail to rest in your mercy and grace. Thank you that Jesus knew the joy set before him so clearly, and loved his Father’s will so deeply that he endured the cross and rose again and can not fail to bring me into your presence as a trophy of your grace. Help me to go on hungering to grow in you, to see more clearly that your best is indeed best and beautiful and to grow to despise the taste of earthly indulgence. Please change my normal Lord, Amen.